Self-Respect

Many of us forget how important it is to have self respect. Now, you may be thinking everyone carries self respect duhh!! No! You are wrong! Somewhere down the road we are so insecure about ourselves that we do things which may risk our self esteem. I want to tell those who are reading about the importance of having self respect for yourself and that is one of the most important key to happiness. I have let myself down quiet few times and its all my fault that i haven't kept myself safe in different situations. To have respect for yourself, to care about your own self, to love yourself fully is very much needed in today's world. If you can learn to love yourself and really want to be selfish then trust me there won't be any problem in your life.

We love ourselves the most and we act selfish many times. But have you ever realized that we don't love ourselves the way we should? No, we haven't thought about that. One should always keep themselves in the highest level that way no one can dare to touch anybody's self esteem or ruin his ego. Many times we give up and do things which are against our own wishes. I want you to stop and think... why? Why do things that is against your will ? Why do things that you know may hurt you or be a damage to you in the future? Why not prevent yourself from trouble? And why not be wise?

Yes, the answer to the questions are already well known to us. We are either led astray by satan or we do things to make others happy even if that means you are unhappy. I say always do what your heart and mind feels is right. Think properly! Learn to think of the good and bad of everything and learn to save yourself from trouble. If you really love yourself you wont get yourself in a mess, you wont listen to satan and lastly everybody else around you will love you. First love to have respect and love for yourself then think of others. Don't put yourself in confusion and mess. You know who you are , what you want, how you will do it . Then why give yourself so much complications?

I am sure some of you are puzzled with my words. But hey think! I am sure you are one of those who have invited trouble in your life by going against your own will. I am sure you are the one who have made yourself lose your self respect at some point in your life. I am sure you are the one who dont love yourself properly like you should.

So i wil like to end this blog with few tips. Make sure you care about yourself. Go ahead and cut communication with those you do not like or those who put you down. Go ahead and stop listenin to satan and make your life here a hell and building a house in hell for the hereafter as well. Go ahead and take a step forward to a new YOU the you who know how to have respect and know how to respect others as well. The moment you stop and think that the things i am doing may harm my self-esteem , stop it then and there! Learn to not care sometimes. Learn to not give a crap about what the world thinks about you. Think of yourself first and do the things that will keep you in the safe field. I hope i made sense and those who can relate to this topic will soon realize the importance of loving yourself properly and save their self respect. Because once its gone you just going to keep ruining it for the rest of your life. Save yourself now don't let anyone put you down and dont let yourself in such troublesome situation that will only invite trouble for yourself. Its you who can bring the change if you really love yourself and know to be selfish. Khuda Hafiz!

ps: I know i was repetitive but its only because the point gets to your head permanently. :)

Tips when u feel down\depressed

I was wondering what people do when they are sad? Like realllllllllllll sad when u feel the world is not yours and nobody around you loves you. What i do in those type of situation is actually lots of stuff few are negative and few works great on me. I wanna share those tips so that any of you may want to use it as well. Because i hate when somebody feels sad or depressed during calamities. If I cant help people in any other way then i make sure i talk to them to calm them down. And in my own calamities thankfully i have always found the closest person to go to and vent.


The first option i use is stop all the thinking and stop thinking of negatives or positives and get to reading The Quran with translation. It is so distracting and interesting that i forget what i was sad about. I read till i feel better. And when i do namaaz i feel so much better. I think of All the positiveness that may happen in the future and think of all that Allah has provided me with. I think of Allah being there for me and then i feel nothing else matters. I think of the calamity and feel that no matter how big it is , it's nothing compare to all the happy things Allah has given me all my life. I think of the worst that could have happened and the worst that other people go through in their lives and comparing to that i feel hopeful and better. I basically console myself. Everyone have their own ways to console themselves so i do it my way depending on the situation.

Second option is venting to your best friend\ the person closes to you. Venting helps! Just nag and wine and complain your heart out till u feel better. But choose wisely who you believe to be your best friend. Always keep yourself in the safe shoes so you are not risking anything and nothing backfires on you. So choose your friend wisely and think before you talk.

Third option is sleeping. Take naps and this is what i meant when i said some of the tips are negative. Because sleeping to forget your problem is something depressed people tend to do a lot. So don't consider yourself as depressed in sad situations because depression is a severe disease. But if you feel you can handle yourself then just take a nap. When i go to sleep i feel when i wake up everything will be okay. Its just a childish habit. And this is what works best for me. Every-time you are sad or feeling down at night tell your mom to sleep with you and hold her and go to sleep. Trust me there is not other peace like that. Your mom is the best support.

Fourth option is watching TV whatever you like most and watch it all day. Usually this is the option that i least use because usually when i am really sad i dont feel like eating, reading, or watching anything. So reading books and watching lots of TV might be a good idea.

Fifth, Find a solution to your problem and if there is no solution than let time take you. Time heals every pain and time will tell. Sometime the biggest problem is what we will look back to and think of and just smile. Everything happens for a reason.

Lastly, think of the reason you are in the situation\sadness\calamities that fell upon you. Somewhere down the road we make some choices in life which leads to our calamities unless fate plays a different role in this situation. It is because of our own choices and decisions in life which brings us to our current situations. So , always be wise in life and think twice before you say something or make a life decision. When nothing works and my tips seem vain to you, simply blame yourself. Trust me do not be a hypocrite.We all face situations according to our own deeds and actions. So, before blaming others blame yourself for the situations and deal with your problems and you will find the answer and solution . Sometimes life hits us hard because of our own mistakes and wrong choices. inshAaLLAH this post was a help to everyone who read. Khuda hafiz !

Nothing changed

Sooooooo it has been a year since i am writing on my blog. I started on January 2011 and nothin much changed in my life within a year and noone really changed around me either.However, i have changed a tiny bit.I have become a hijabi , trying to learn more about Islam , trying to correct myself in many ways and inshaAllah Allah will guide me to do the right always.Other then all that, I am still going to school inshaAllah will be done within a year. After that if Allah wills i will be preparing myself for the teaching test so i can teach high school kids. I dont usually make plans but this is what i have thought for myself as of now. Oh also about marriage , its all unpredictable. Whenever Allah wills but may be i shall be ready within a year inshaAllah. The sooner it is done and over with the better. lol! Well, today's blog wont be any different then my previous blog posts. Only difference is i am going to vent more then give solutions unlike my other posts which is always full of advice, hope , and possibilities.

So, many of you may be wondering what am i doing in Bangladesh afterall? If i have found someone or who do i hang out.. bla bla. Well, i pretty much do the same thing as i did in USA only different is that it's in BD. I go to school four times a week, i spend my time watchin tv or homewrk, internet. I go to my cousinz over the weekends and hang with friends. My life isnt so interesting and i dont complain much. Only sometimes when it gets too monotonous , it can be really annoying.

Anywho, i have seen myself change in many ways over the past years but my thoughts remain the same. I lack patience and sometimes unknowingly lack faith in Allah too. I know this isnt a sign of a true believer but shaitaan has his ways of leading my desires astray. May be this year i will bring the change in my innerself and try to be the person i always wanted to be. Someone strong with lots of patience and a sensible heart that knows how to act wise. In show tremendous amount of patience when someone ticks me off or in terms of dealing with people but very little patience in other deals of life. For example, this girl in my school has been really pissing me off lately. She always has to make comments about me not being able to cover my aura being a hijabi while she is walking around dressed up in i wont mention how. But yeah, my dupatta slightly moves from my chest and suddenly you will see her running from miles away to come tell me about covering myself fully. I don't know why she does it what problem she has with me cuz as far as i know i m realy nice to her.

So, yeah dealing with her needs LOTS of patience which i have though somedays i want to kick her in the butt but my religious thoughts stop me from doing that. So, yeah i have two groups of friends one group is from school and other are my childhood friends who i am very comfortable with. They dont tick me off while the other ones do but i try my best to tag along. Anyways, i have seen so much of this world too and i must say you can be anywhere doing anything and mix with any kind of people as long as you know what your priorities are and know how to handle yourself in situations. So, living in BD is not suffocating since i am learning to handle myself in the environment and people around here.
So, to make this blog short,inshaAllah this year , i will stop having confusion, be more wise in terms of life decisions and stay STRONG at all times whether its dealing with people or my life. I will try to follow how i always wanted to be as a person, strong, religious, and sensible then ever. So, though little has changed in my life inshaAllah lots more to change in a good way.My life did take a new turn but i am still the same person but inshaAllah i live to please Allah first then everyone else along with me. Khuda Hafiz

The perfect guy or My Cinderalla Man ;)

I know by seeing the title those of you who are reading are thinking...hmm ... is she in love? She has found someone? Oh damn may be she did since she moved back home and you are expected to be married off if you move back. Haha! None of these are the case. I was just thinking does the perfect guy exist (the kinda perfect in an individual's view). To me my perfect guy holds many different qualities which are not very difficult if a person happen to have a kind and nice heart.

Let me remove the confusion. The one who will be mine should be extremely nice to me and my family. He doesn't necessarily have to take me out on a shopping spree every month or has to be super rich. He got to give me immense love and someone who is caring. He cares when i am sick and would sit around with me and watch TV. Someone who gives me the highest importance in his life after his parents.He has to pamper me but control me a little too. I have to depend on him in many cases and situations and he would know exactly what to do to handle me. He should know how to handle me in my worst. Someone who doesn't leave me alone when i am angry or upset but gives me advices and makes me feel better. He would take me out once in a while to get me out of boredom( doesn't have to be an exotic vacation). Someone who value me and appreciates what i do for him. He should be understanding and know how to make me laugh. Someone who would cook for me once in a while. He would bring me flowers and candies and surprise me. I guess that is all i need and its that simple. If you can provide me with love and care i don't need much.

Now, comes to the character. I don't really care about his past but he should not let any negativeness in the past get in to our present. He should be striving to be a pious Muslim and struggle to leave out the bad and bring out the good in him always. Someone who follows the Sunnah of our Prophet Muhammad (SAW). He would remind me to pray in-case i forget. Someone who can have Islamic discussion with me for hours and not get bored. He should help me out in the household chores once in a while like our Prophet SAW had helped His wife. He should read the Qur'an and pray five times a day. We would wake up for fajr and pray together. Someone who earns money in a halaal way even if its little. Someone who keeps away from drinking, gambling, bad company. Someone who is all mine and i can put all my trust in to and depend on. He should try to be religious and have patience with me. Someone who can outlook my negativity and appreciate the positives. He should take care of these little things and always put effort in our relationship to be better.

I can go on and on about my demands on a perfect man. But have you ever given it a thought that you get what you deserve? I believe in that completely. So, i can't find someone like that unless i give my all in to improving myself to be as good as i want my life partner to be. This brings me to the Quranic verse : Allah Almighty says (interpretation of the meaning): “Bad statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for bad statements (or bad men for bad women). Good statements are for good people (or good women for good men) and good people for good statements (or good men for good women) such are innocent of that which people say: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision”
So if A’yesha may Allah be pleased with her is a bad woman then the prophet, peace be upon him is also bad.

In conclusion, I will not find a good hear-ted person until i am good myself. I will get what i deserve. If i am honest, loyal, patient, positive,loving and caring i will get these in return from my life partner. If i lie , talk ill, be fake, and not keep him happy then i cant expect my husband\soul mate to be all perfect to me. Makes sense? Its just not a theory of myself but it is coming from a Quranic Verse Allah says for believing men is for believing women. So , how can i ask Allah for a righteous life partner if i don't strive hard to become pious and righteous myself first? You cant just ask for duaa and expect Allah to answer it. Always strive hard to make yourself better first before you want the world to be all perfect to you and want everything to go right with you. And this verse is what keeps me going seeing all the negativity of the world that at the end of the day, nothing will go wrong with me if i always do the right thing and stay on the halaal path.

So the point of this blog is , do not loose hope. Good people exists and the change can happen but you should bring the change first by applying good in to your life and your character. Before raising finger at someone else ask yourself are you any better? Before being a hypocrite look within yourself. Before asking for a good man to Allah ask yourself are you good enough to deserve that. InshaAllah we all strive to be a better Muslim to gain the best of this life and the hereafter as well. InshaAllah Allah helps us find a righteous life partner and helps us to fight against all evil to live a righteous life.

Just a phase in life...

ioasdiashiashdaihdaiosdfiasujoasjoasjasojaojdasiodj When i am upset i either write a poem or write on my diary or listen to music that goes with my current situation.The best options i use so far is pray or read surahs. I have done that. However, this blog is a second best option because i rather keep it short and sweet and hope to come back here at a time where this will just be a faded story. Every story has a sad truth and everyone finds a way to console themselves in life or live on to move on. Life goes on... i guess you just always got to close one chapter in life to begin a new one with the purpose of keeping yourself happy and sane. ughhh ..... i am going through this weird phase in life where i am blaming myself for every little mistakes i have done in my life and every little steps i took in my life which was just wrong. But then i think to myself everything happens for a reason and i am where i am because of those decisions i made. The other side says may be if i took a different route in life, things would have been different and lot better. Just why , why it gotta be so complicated? Its all about choices, i am where i stand is because of the choices i made in my life. Its all up to you how you want to make your life and build your little world. Only difference is some are very wise and some are very naive. I don't know which category i fall under but i am definitely the type who seeks for momentary happiness and not think of the future ahead. May be if i thought of future , life would be different for me. But i still stay positive since i am very good at consoling myself. I always be greatful to Allah for giving me everything that i need to live a happy life and for always keeping me safe and sound. Its not about me being ungreatful or blaming anyone around me. Its just about me and my innerself, i just wish i was wise. I wish i took a different route in life and made different choices about certain situations. I guess it was my age or its my age which is the cause of many faulty acts. I guess its called growing up and experience. I might be confusing you but i am confused myself. Sometimes it is as if i dont know myself, i dont know anything and i just let time take me. I guess it is very important that a person knows himself well. Its important to get to know yourself , understand yourself and then take any steps in life. It is important to be wise in every step of the way in life. Because every bit matters and every choices will build your life. Its important to be strong and not let your heart or mind to fall weak in any kind of circumstances. Somewhere down the road i have failed to do so , so i am in a regretful stage. But then you just got to live with the hope that you still got a chance to turn the table , turn your story around and make things better. You get many chances in life the difference is you got to be careful enough to not miss it. Life is full of mistakes, misery, regrets.. thats why i will be striving hard to build a home in paradise to free me from any negativities. This world is like that thats why its important to keep yourself sane and good for the better hereafter. Thank Allah every moment and inshaAllah Allah guides us all in to doing the right thing in life and make the right choices. I will end this blog with this duwa for myself and every Muslim brothers and Sisters. (O Allah!) Please do not leave me to my own self Because if You abandon me to my own desires I might be drawn towards evil and away from goodness and I have no support except Your Mercy. Please guide me and help me be true to myself and my devotion to your beautiful religion. help me save myself from the clutch of shaitaan and forgive me of my sins and if i repeat em again forgive me again and guide me Ya Ar Rahmanur Rahim.

Heaven in Hell

“And do not look towards that by which We have given enjoyment to [some] categories of them, [its being but] the splendor of worldly life by which We test them. And the provision of your Lord is better and more lasting.” (Quran 20:131) To me this world is like a heaven in hell depending on how the people lead their life as per their wish. Most importantly how they are handling their actions and deeds in this life will make the difference for the hereafter. We are all getting tested by Allah in this life and world. We are also given a free will which we must take advantage of and choose the right way. We are given one chance to live and many chances to turn our bad deeds in to good. Now, the reason i said this world is heaven in hell is because the worldy fun and entertainment will only lead one and misguide a person towards everything that is haraam. Thus, the real test is when we control our nafs(desire) and sacrifice our shaitaan given needs to make Allah happy. CRUCIAL TESTS~"I will mislead them and I will create in them false desires; I will order them to slit the ears of cattle and to deface the (fair) nature created by Allah." Whoever, forsaking Allah, takes Satan for a friend, hath of a surety suffered a loss that is manifest. (An-Nisa 4:119) Satan promised Allah to mislead us. He promised to change the nature created by Allah. We see many examples of this today and really no offense to anyone. We see girls taking many technological advantages to beautify themselves. They fix their teeth without any health purposes. They get tattoo done in their body. They pluck their eyebrows and i myself have done that in the past and inshaAllah i have quitted for good. InshaAllah i can keep that up for the rest of my life. We also see all the entertainment involving mostly haram activities such as clubs,girls and boys involved in sports, tv,music,chat,phones... and many more. We all seem to use the bad side of it including myself (in some cases). So, the worldy pleasure has amazed us so much that we forget that paradise is unimaginably beautiful. If this world is created by Allah Almighty and we are so fascinated by it, imagine the better place Allah has promised for us if we obey him and his Rasul (SAW). This world will bloom for a while and then when you are in your grave , you will be left with nothing but your deeds. So watch out and watch what you choose to do in your life, who you hang out with, who you choose to make your life partner and most importantly watch yourself, are you following Islam properly? I am still striving to be a better Muslim and still try hard to fix many mistakes i repeatedly make. InshaAllah Allah guide us all in to doing the right thing. Can you imagine waking up in your grave and answering to the Angel who will come to you with three questions.If you fail to answer then imagine the grave torment starting till Judgment Day. And then when the Hour comes, you will be destined to be in the place you were promised (hell or heaven). But, if your deeds are sound, thats just awesome, Alhamdulillah. So, its important to think of death every now and then. Its important we think of the Hereafter because that matters more than anything. We should give ourselves time to maintain the worldy business along with worshipping Allah. Allah will inshaAllah guide us if we help ourselves and protect ourselves. Remember you are your own protector, you make your life noone builds your life as per their wish. Its you who depend on your own self and you who make your life or break it. At the end of the day , its your choice so be wise. I hope to take my own advice too. IA. So, i just decided to write this blog thinking of all the worldly pleasure and how i try to control my desires and wantings each day. This world and its entertainment and shaitaan's whisper does sound good but it will only destroy your own life for the eternity. So, though everything about this world is so amazing, try to think of a more amazing place, paradise. So be good to yourself including others. Dont get carried away by shaitaans whispers and always control your nafs thats what i am trying everyday. May Allah help you all and keep me in your duas. Khuda Hafiz.

The Inner self and I

I have been away from my blog for a while. I couldn't get my mind fixed in to what to write. As some of you may know about the drastic change in me. I am trying to be more religious as day goes by. However, its not easy. What you physically apply to yourself doesn't define you but what you desire from within and how you control your nafs (desire) defines your character. Because when one is saying one thing and struggling with his thoughts will not really help him overcome his situation. Allah is omniscient nothing is hidden from him. I know this is going to be random but i remembered a scene from Shakespeare's Hamlet to actually connect to my situation. I am sure everyone read it or at least know the drama. When King Hamlet's brother Claudius seeks repentance to god he basically struggles with his thoughts and he knows it. He knows that he is saying one thing but not truly repenting from heart , his words are not matching with his thoughts. I myself say one thing and doing the total opposite. I sometimes while sinning ask for forgiveness. Now, that's permissible. But sometimes it gets really hard to control your desire. So, i sometimes being a normal human being, Allah's slave struggling with the same thing. Sometimes i apply Islamic rulings in my life and on the other hand go astray in other important things. Such as watching tv, gossip, lying or even like argument with my mom. See, these actually fall under major sins. And somewhere down the road, i feel guilty and trying my best to control my anger, any sort of disrespect habits in me, etc. Thus, i am not perfect and not completely pious. I ask for everyone's prayers on that. I really want to fix other mistakes of mine and repent truly for many many sins i have committed in the past or still am committing. Also, the point is not how you have physically changed yourself with your clothing and personality but what really has changed inside your heart and intentions. So, i pray for myself and all the Muslim brothers and sisters to always keep their heart and mind pious and then physically apply it and only then the real meaning of it will come out. And me, i am struggling still. I know i have changed a lot and for the better but there are still things which my inner self struggles with in my everyday life. Theres still anger in me that leads to many wrongdoings. There's still things inside my head that needs to be fixed. First and foremost fix my intention and purify my heart is what i am struggling with. Obviously, i am not an angel this cant be done overnight. But, everyday there's a battle with the bad me. And this blog may seem pointless to some of you. But, may be somewhere down the road you are suffering with the same situation that IS curable. Only difference is you have to be ready to bring the change in you. The point is always be truthful to yourself, always know what you want TRULY. Always love yourself and help yourself be a better human being and a better Muslim because if you cant help yourself no one can. Always have faith and hope in Allah and be positive. If you help yourself Allah will make the path easier for you inshaAllah.