The way I am

I don't know why i am writing this may be because i left my journal back in US. Ever since that incident, stopped keeping journals and started writing on my blog.I hope no one finds it , i have written so much that i wouldn't want people to find out about. I am writing this because of few things my mom and my bro say to me all the time. I hope he is reading it. If you guys keep up with my blogs, then some of you may know that i don't write about myself or my life story all the time. My blogs usually tells about my thoughts and opinion.So, this is a bit different.Somewhere down the road, you may realize you are just like me.

The type of person I am. My brother says , i have a great conscious and understanding of life. But, somewhere down the road i don't use my own advice which leads to many downfall. I can give the best advices to someone that could change their life and would do anything to make someone feel better. If you love me a little, i will give you my heart not piece of it BUT all of it. I am emotional to the limit. He says, "if you are gonna b living in this society, you cant expect everyone to be nice to you and love you like we do". I have found this statement to be so true , YET i am in denial. I feel if i am keeping a clean heart and love everyone then why cant they? but ppl are different right? So you see what i mean, I DO understand it all but i am too weak to accept it. makes sense?

My momma on the other hand says, I know very little about the world and the kind of people living in it. I just met good people in my life so i feel life is all nice and dandy. But, when reality slaps you across the face, you will be too weak to face it. So, always be prepared for any situations and keep a strong mind and heart. Don't think with your heart all the time. She says i think about the momentary happiness which can lead to many wrong decisions that i make in life.

AND me, i am happy and i been happy with the way i am and the way i am living my life so far. Yes, there are hardship in life, i may come across good and bad people. But, may be i will learn to face it. I always learn things the hard way because i am stubborn. I hope i start thinking before stepping in to something. THINK twice before making a decision. Stop being confused about anything and everything in life. But, while i am typing it i am thinking, i don't want to change the way i am. I want people to accept me the way i am and love me and be nice to me. I will do the same in return.I don't want nothing else, I really didn't ask for much did i?Why cant life be that simple? Are you like this too? Like you have all the understandings of life YET don't apply your own advice in many situations. I think i am just not wise when it comes to MY life and decisions.

Hope i didn't confuse anyone. This is just a jibbar-jabber i couldn't write on my personal diary. My advice to everyone : Think wisely before making decisions and Look twice before stepping in to the crossroads of life. Don't expect everyone to be nice and loving. Do your best but don't have expectations. (here u go, wish i took my own advice).

Bonus: a lesson I WISH i learned.
Always give yourself the highest level, show your importance to your loved ones before they take you for granted. Show your worth. Throw your decisions, if you don't like something , SAY IT. Don't sacrifice and be so nice that people take advantage of you. Sometimes people don't appreciate and wont look beyond your niceness. That's why its important to love yourself first. Once again i wish i was like that. I am just the opposite of that. If i love you, i will think about your happiness and do anything to keep you happy even if it means by sacrificing my desire and need. This doesn't always lead to happy ending. Life is more than that. Give yourself a pat in the back for all the good work you do and give people the love you are capable of giving including keeping your happiness in mind. sighs**