Just a phase in life...

ioasdiashiashdaihdaiosdfiasujoasjoasjasojaojdasiodj When i am upset i either write a poem or write on my diary or listen to music that goes with my current situation.The best options i use so far is pray or read surahs. I have done that. However, this blog is a second best option because i rather keep it short and sweet and hope to come back here at a time where this will just be a faded story. Every story has a sad truth and everyone finds a way to console themselves in life or live on to move on. Life goes on... i guess you just always got to close one chapter in life to begin a new one with the purpose of keeping yourself happy and sane. ughhh ..... i am going through this weird phase in life where i am blaming myself for every little mistakes i have done in my life and every little steps i took in my life which was just wrong. But then i think to myself everything happens for a reason and i am where i am because of those decisions i made. The other side says may be if i took a different route in life, things would have been different and lot better. Just why , why it gotta be so complicated? Its all about choices, i am where i stand is because of the choices i made in my life. Its all up to you how you want to make your life and build your little world. Only difference is some are very wise and some are very naive. I don't know which category i fall under but i am definitely the type who seeks for momentary happiness and not think of the future ahead. May be if i thought of future , life would be different for me. But i still stay positive since i am very good at consoling myself. I always be greatful to Allah for giving me everything that i need to live a happy life and for always keeping me safe and sound. Its not about me being ungreatful or blaming anyone around me. Its just about me and my innerself, i just wish i was wise. I wish i took a different route in life and made different choices about certain situations. I guess it was my age or its my age which is the cause of many faulty acts. I guess its called growing up and experience. I might be confusing you but i am confused myself. Sometimes it is as if i dont know myself, i dont know anything and i just let time take me. I guess it is very important that a person knows himself well. Its important to get to know yourself , understand yourself and then take any steps in life. It is important to be wise in every step of the way in life. Because every bit matters and every choices will build your life. Its important to be strong and not let your heart or mind to fall weak in any kind of circumstances. Somewhere down the road i have failed to do so , so i am in a regretful stage. But then you just got to live with the hope that you still got a chance to turn the table , turn your story around and make things better. You get many chances in life the difference is you got to be careful enough to not miss it. Life is full of mistakes, misery, regrets.. thats why i will be striving hard to build a home in paradise to free me from any negativities. This world is like that thats why its important to keep yourself sane and good for the better hereafter. Thank Allah every moment and inshaAllah Allah guides us all in to doing the right thing in life and make the right choices. I will end this blog with this duwa for myself and every Muslim brothers and Sisters. (O Allah!) Please do not leave me to my own self Because if You abandon me to my own desires I might be drawn towards evil and away from goodness and I have no support except Your Mercy. Please guide me and help me be true to myself and my devotion to your beautiful religion. help me save myself from the clutch of shaitaan and forgive me of my sins and if i repeat em again forgive me again and guide me Ya Ar Rahmanur Rahim.

Heaven in Hell

“And do not look towards that by which We have given enjoyment to [some] categories of them, [its being but] the splendor of worldly life by which We test them. And the provision of your Lord is better and more lasting.” (Quran 20:131) To me this world is like a heaven in hell depending on how the people lead their life as per their wish. Most importantly how they are handling their actions and deeds in this life will make the difference for the hereafter. We are all getting tested by Allah in this life and world. We are also given a free will which we must take advantage of and choose the right way. We are given one chance to live and many chances to turn our bad deeds in to good. Now, the reason i said this world is heaven in hell is because the worldy fun and entertainment will only lead one and misguide a person towards everything that is haraam. Thus, the real test is when we control our nafs(desire) and sacrifice our shaitaan given needs to make Allah happy. CRUCIAL TESTS~"I will mislead them and I will create in them false desires; I will order them to slit the ears of cattle and to deface the (fair) nature created by Allah." Whoever, forsaking Allah, takes Satan for a friend, hath of a surety suffered a loss that is manifest. (An-Nisa 4:119) Satan promised Allah to mislead us. He promised to change the nature created by Allah. We see many examples of this today and really no offense to anyone. We see girls taking many technological advantages to beautify themselves. They fix their teeth without any health purposes. They get tattoo done in their body. They pluck their eyebrows and i myself have done that in the past and inshaAllah i have quitted for good. InshaAllah i can keep that up for the rest of my life. We also see all the entertainment involving mostly haram activities such as clubs,girls and boys involved in sports, tv,music,chat,phones... and many more. We all seem to use the bad side of it including myself (in some cases). So, the worldy pleasure has amazed us so much that we forget that paradise is unimaginably beautiful. If this world is created by Allah Almighty and we are so fascinated by it, imagine the better place Allah has promised for us if we obey him and his Rasul (SAW). This world will bloom for a while and then when you are in your grave , you will be left with nothing but your deeds. So watch out and watch what you choose to do in your life, who you hang out with, who you choose to make your life partner and most importantly watch yourself, are you following Islam properly? I am still striving to be a better Muslim and still try hard to fix many mistakes i repeatedly make. InshaAllah Allah guide us all in to doing the right thing. Can you imagine waking up in your grave and answering to the Angel who will come to you with three questions.If you fail to answer then imagine the grave torment starting till Judgment Day. And then when the Hour comes, you will be destined to be in the place you were promised (hell or heaven). But, if your deeds are sound, thats just awesome, Alhamdulillah. So, its important to think of death every now and then. Its important we think of the Hereafter because that matters more than anything. We should give ourselves time to maintain the worldy business along with worshipping Allah. Allah will inshaAllah guide us if we help ourselves and protect ourselves. Remember you are your own protector, you make your life noone builds your life as per their wish. Its you who depend on your own self and you who make your life or break it. At the end of the day , its your choice so be wise. I hope to take my own advice too. IA. So, i just decided to write this blog thinking of all the worldly pleasure and how i try to control my desires and wantings each day. This world and its entertainment and shaitaan's whisper does sound good but it will only destroy your own life for the eternity. So, though everything about this world is so amazing, try to think of a more amazing place, paradise. So be good to yourself including others. Dont get carried away by shaitaans whispers and always control your nafs thats what i am trying everyday. May Allah help you all and keep me in your duas. Khuda Hafiz.

The Inner self and I

I have been away from my blog for a while. I couldn't get my mind fixed in to what to write. As some of you may know about the drastic change in me. I am trying to be more religious as day goes by. However, its not easy. What you physically apply to yourself doesn't define you but what you desire from within and how you control your nafs (desire) defines your character. Because when one is saying one thing and struggling with his thoughts will not really help him overcome his situation. Allah is omniscient nothing is hidden from him. I know this is going to be random but i remembered a scene from Shakespeare's Hamlet to actually connect to my situation. I am sure everyone read it or at least know the drama. When King Hamlet's brother Claudius seeks repentance to god he basically struggles with his thoughts and he knows it. He knows that he is saying one thing but not truly repenting from heart , his words are not matching with his thoughts. I myself say one thing and doing the total opposite. I sometimes while sinning ask for forgiveness. Now, that's permissible. But sometimes it gets really hard to control your desire. So, i sometimes being a normal human being, Allah's slave struggling with the same thing. Sometimes i apply Islamic rulings in my life and on the other hand go astray in other important things. Such as watching tv, gossip, lying or even like argument with my mom. See, these actually fall under major sins. And somewhere down the road, i feel guilty and trying my best to control my anger, any sort of disrespect habits in me, etc. Thus, i am not perfect and not completely pious. I ask for everyone's prayers on that. I really want to fix other mistakes of mine and repent truly for many many sins i have committed in the past or still am committing. Also, the point is not how you have physically changed yourself with your clothing and personality but what really has changed inside your heart and intentions. So, i pray for myself and all the Muslim brothers and sisters to always keep their heart and mind pious and then physically apply it and only then the real meaning of it will come out. And me, i am struggling still. I know i have changed a lot and for the better but there are still things which my inner self struggles with in my everyday life. Theres still anger in me that leads to many wrongdoings. There's still things inside my head that needs to be fixed. First and foremost fix my intention and purify my heart is what i am struggling with. Obviously, i am not an angel this cant be done overnight. But, everyday there's a battle with the bad me. And this blog may seem pointless to some of you. But, may be somewhere down the road you are suffering with the same situation that IS curable. Only difference is you have to be ready to bring the change in you. The point is always be truthful to yourself, always know what you want TRULY. Always love yourself and help yourself be a better human being and a better Muslim because if you cant help yourself no one can. Always have faith and hope in Allah and be positive. If you help yourself Allah will make the path easier for you inshaAllah.